I said “don’t ever change” once after we broke up. It was my selfish side—you know that, rite? You know when I think about us, my selfish side’s gonna take the lead.
Though in the end I understood what you need. You might need a very wide space after our super long relationship. I hope we really will grow, as you said.
You asked me to stay ‘till you found yourself and I decided to
stay since the beginning. This is the most complicated thing on us. We know that
we can’t be together—at least for now—but we don’t want to end it.
Us is toxic for you and me. You said you don’t want to hurt me
and I am okay with being hurt by you. On the other hand, I can’t let you free. I’m
afraid of looking you cry and laugh with another man. So, who’s the selfish here?
We. You and me.
We, who spent our time carelessly and thought that everything
was alright.
I afraid of letting you go or setting you free. But I hope you
will find what you are searching for. It could be me or anything—but I hope it’s
me.
You know what? Wondering the reason you chose for months was
painful. The emptiness, loneliness, and regrets came and took my heart.
So please say everything honestly. That way is easiest for me
than the previous one.
I afraid ‘cause feeling can come and go as you said. I afraid
that in the end there’s no me anymore. But, you are free for now.
I am learning to love and let you go. I am gonna be here ‘till
you found you. But will you be here when the time comes? When you finally found
you, will you be with me?
I don’t know.
I prepared a gift that—I hope—can represent me. The emptiness
comes again and you are far away. At least it’s my friend now.
I prepared my self for everything, you are one of the reason
but as you want, the priority has changed.
Be safe, good luck, and I am waiting for us....